


Bitter Banter

by AnnCherie



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Past Clace, Past Relationship(s), clizzy mentions, malec mentions, past climon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-08-16 01:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8082061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnCherie/pseuds/AnnCherie
Summary: Simon has an unexpected visitor in the middle of the night





	1. Chapter 1

“What the--,” Simon begins to swear as someone interrupts what little vampiric sleep he gets by climbing into bed with him. He knows it has to be at least two in the morning since he was up till one playing video games with Bat, but he’s pretty sure Mr. Werewolf still can't stand the smell of him. The intruder has completely ignored the way Simon has jumped to the other side of the bed-- originally he was sprawled out in the middle-- and in fact seems to be completely disregarding that Simon is even in the room. “Who the hell--,”

“Aren’t vampires supposed to have better night vision?” comes Jace’s taunting voice, and Simon isn’t one hundred percent certain that he hasn’t entered an alternate dimension or somehow been slipped fairy punch. “Seems to me like your buddy Raphael is a terrible teacher.”

“I’ll let him know you think so,” Simon comments weakly, still completely wracked with confusion as Jace lies down with his back facing Simon. “Why the hell are you in my apartment? Let alone my room?”

“Because that thing you call a couch is apparently being used as a trash can-- which, by the way, how could you possibly drink that much soda? And your floor is covered with pizza boxes, same question.”

“The band came over,” Simon huffed. “The institute has like thirty rooms, are you going to tell me that none of them are more satisfactory than my bed?”

He can feel Jace tense, even though they aren’t touching and there’s still a good foot separating them. Simon isn’t sure Jace is going to answer him-- although Simon will make him if he has to-- but after a pause, Jace manages to angrily spit out, “Not when Isabelle is in the same building.”

Rarely, if not only once, has Simon ever heard Jace use his sister’s full name and definitely not like that. Not to mention, he has no idea what Izzy and Jace could even fight about. They’ve always seemed to get along, being so similar, and both of them were fairly easy going people-- even if Jace could be an ass-- so, what? Sarcastically, he says, “I see your point. Who does she think she is anyway?”

Now that he’s adjusted to the lack of light, Simon is fully able to see how withering the glare that Jace turns around to give him is. “Clary’s girlfriend.”

“W-what?”

“Clary’s girlfriend,” Jace repeated, vitriol heightening. “Clary and Isabelle are dating.”

“Oh,” Simon says weakly. Isn’t he supposed to know this? I mean, as Clary’s official best friend of eight or so years? But then again he and Clary had broken up only three weeks ago after the awkward sibling debacle with Jace so maybe she hadn’t felt comfortable. Which sucked, because if Clary couldn’t talk to him about it she must have felt pretty alone.

And then there’s Jace, who is apparently doing so well with this new information that he stormed out of the institute and into Simon’s bed. There are so many questions. “Aren’t you... uh, I mean, didn’t you get over her?”

Tactful Simon, he scolds himself.

“So? If Alec and Magnus broke up, do you think I’d date Magnus?”

“I don’t think Magnus would have you to begin with,” Simon pointed out unhelpfully. He could only go so long without having to get some sort of jibe in. It was Jace, after all, and if he didn’t start with the comebacks sometime he’s going to get further distracted by the fact that Jace is lying in the same bed as him. 

“He’d have me. You don’t just go back from dating a Shadowhunter,” Jace shot back with the usual ridiculous confidence of his.

Simon rolled his eyes. “I’m telling you he wouldn't want the poster boy of heterosexual Shadowhunters.”

“What exactly makes me heterosexual in your eyes?” Jace asked, an edgy tone to the question. Simon is a little alarmed. Usually he never assumed someone's sexuality, but Jace had always seemed so… “Just because I'm not dating my the head of the vampire clan--,”

“First of all, Raphael and I aren't dating, he's still mad that I dated Clary and betrayed him over Camille,” Simon said with some irritation. He followed it up, muttering, “Not that that's any of your business.”

“I was joking,” Jace chuckled. “Although now I have a few questions--,”

“Yeah, sorry to disappoint, but we aren't having a sleepover where we talk about boys,” Simon huffed, wondering if maybe Jace was drunk. He didn't smell like alcohol though, and Simon would know. After a moment's pause, he asked, “Although you're really not heterosexual?”

“It would be a shame to deny someone my good looks and charm just because of their gender,” Jace said smugly, and Simon didn't have to see in the dark to know Jace was smirking. He could practically hear it.

Simon groaned for more than a few reasons, taking his pillow and putting it over his head. “Why didn't you go spend the night at Magnus’ place?”

“Because his place is even more of a mess than here,” Jace replied. Simon briefly remembered how pristine Jace's room at the institute was. It seemed funny to imagine the Shadowhunter with a cleaning obsession. “And I am ninety percent sure Alec knew what was going on and he's over there.”

“How'd you know I wouldn't know?”

“Izzy told me to wait and let Clary tell you,” Jace said, sounding pleased with himself. “Oops.”

Sighing, Simon thought about telling Jace to just go home, or at the very least deal with the messy couch, but he didn't. He didn't want to think about why he hadn't already either, which for someone like him who was usually very self aware, meant a lot. At first this had just been a really, really irritating inconvenience. Now it was beginning to get awkward for Simon knowing that not-heterosexual-Jace was still in his bed and apparently planned on sleeping there. 

“Right, well unless you're trying to rope me into some revenge plan, I'm going back to sleep,” Simon finally said, trying to ignore Jace's presence and the constant reminder of pulsing blood that came with close human contact. “Actually even if there is a revenge plan.”

“I wouldn't trust you with revenge anyway,” Jace retorted. “You're boring.”

“I'll have you know I'm actually excellent at revenge,” Simon sniped back. “One time in elementary school this dude was picking on Clary--,”

“Let's not talk about Clary,” Jace cut across.

“Fine,” Simon huffed. Although after the fact he had to admit he did sort of feel bad for Jace. If Simon’s sister dated Clary he would have been pissed too. On top of that Jace didn't seem to have any friends outside of Izzy and Alec, so if he was mad at both of them he must have no one else to talk to. The fact that he even sort of talked to Simon about it (by default) was almost flattering. “Goodnight.”

“If I wake up to you sucking my blood I’m staking you.”

“Good, that’ll save my dignity from having to have any part of you inside me,” Simon snapped before realizing how that sounded.

Jace burst out laughing within seconds and hating himself, Simon joined in.


	2. Chapter Two

**CHAPTER TWO**

  
  


Simon started to stir at the spike in Jace’s heartbeat that morning, but immediately froze as he realized that during the night his arm had slipped around Jace’s body and rested on his well defined abs-- er, stomach. Even more embarrassing Simon’s face was resting against the back of Jace’s neck, lips gently touching the amount of skin before Jace’s hair. 

 

Completely frozen due to shock he kept his eyes from opening and used his vampire ability to keep his own heartbeat slow, pretending to still be asleep because he wanted to see why Jace hadn’t moved. Jace was awake and they were nestled around each other and ** _ Jace hadn’t moved. _ **

 

They stayed like that for longer than Simon wanted to admit, but while Simon could reduce his pulse he couldn’t stop the ache that was beginning to grow below his belt. Curse morning wood. Curse the feeling of hot blood beneath his lips. Curse Clary and Isabelle for causing this whole situation in the first place.

 

While he was getting harder by the minute the vampire part of him signaled that he wasn’t the only one, causing Simon’s eyes to fly open. The second his eyelashes brushed on skin Jace sprung away, jumping out of the bed.

 

“Told you vampire mojo was a thing,” Simon smirked, giving a glance to Jace’s pants.

 

Jace actually blushed, which Simon didn’t even know the shadowhunter was capable of doing, stopped speechless for just a moment. This was just some weird dream, right? It had to be, because Jace only awkwardly glared as he said, “That’s awfully presumptuous of you.”

 

Simon rolled his eyes. “Right, you just barely let us cuddle for like ten minutes and I’m the cocky one.”

 

“Well it looks like it to me,” Jace shot back, glancing at Simon’s pajama bottoms that the blanket that had been thrown exposed.

 

He gave Jace a dirty look in response, because what else was he supposed to do? Willfully admit that he might be sexually-- no, physically-- attracted to the blonde? No way. 

 

“You're the one who had your arms around me,” Jace added, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than Simon.

 

“I get cold easy,” he replied, shrugging. It was true, body heat didn't exactly come easily to a dead person, supernatural or not.

 

“Right, more like you're a vampire cuddling up to a body full of blood,” Jace snapped. 

 

He looked like he regretted it after the fact, but it had already been said and Simon wasn't about to just forgive him. This is why they weren't friends, this is why they never got along, and this is why said cuddling would never happen again. Shadowhunters were indoctrinated to hate downworlders and Jace had always been the best soldier they had. Unlike Alec, Jace was more stubborn at looking past magical race.

 

With an apologetic grimace, Jace began, “I didn't mean--,”

 

“Don’t you have shadows to go hunt?” Simon cut across rather harshly. 

  
“Yeah,” he said gruffly in return, glancing upward and then away. That wasn’t the slightest, fleeting look of hurt on his face right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you are still out here and listening!


	3. Chapter Three

The first thing he does after Jace leaves in a huff that Simon refuses to apologize for is call Clary. Ever since they were old enough to memorize each other's phone numbers (until they got cellphones of their own), the second Simon had a freak out he would call her. It was habit, and apparently still is, because it's already three rings into the call before he realizes talking to Clary about sleeping with Jace would be weird. Before he can hang up, she's answered. 

“Hey, Simon, sorry I can't really talk right now.” she said, worry ringing through her voice. “Jace never came back to the Institute last night and he didn't go to Magnus’ either.”

“He was at my place,” Simon admitted reluctantly through gritted teeth. Now there would be questions but at least everyone wouldn't be worried sick.

There was a pause and after knowing Clary for so long he could practically hear the surprise and what she must be thinking. Curiously, she asked, “All night?”

“That's the question you want to ask?” Simon demanded. “Not why in the hell would Jace appear at my apartment in the middle of the night when he hates me?”

Hesitantly, she asked, “What exactly did he say?”

“That you're dating Izzy,” Simon answered simply, more concerned with his own matters at the moment. “Now explain to me why your ex boyfriend had to sleep in my bed?”

“He didn't just sleep on the couch?” she asked, sounding confused and amused all at the same time. “And you don't care that she and I are--,”

“Clary, you guys flirt all the time, I'm not really surprised,” he replied. “I just want you to be happy. We're best friends first, remember?”

“Yeah, of course,” she said softly. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.”

Simon could swear that he heard Izzy in the background half yelling about how Jace wasn't supposed to say anything, and he asks, “Am I on speaker?”

“Hello Simon!” Izzy chimes in. “Thank you for taking care of my brother last night.”

Blushing profusely at the tone in Izzy’s voice and embarrassed that he had been overheard, he says, “You owe me, Fray.”

“Izzy’s a better Jace expert than I am, Simon,” Clary half apologizes. “And it's not like anyone else is here listening. We're all friends.”

“Clary would have told me anyway,” Izzy adds, now close to the speaker. “Too good not to share. I mean, you and Jace? About time.”

“What?” Simon sputtered. “Did Clary drug you or something? We don't like each other. He's a complete ass to me like all of the time.”

Izzy laughs at that. “Yeah, when you're paying attention. You should see the way he looks at you when you're not.”

Scoffing, Simon demands, “Clary, back me up here.”

“I don't know Simon, I could sort of see it. Jace would be the type to antagonize someone he really liked.”

“He didn't fight with you!” Simon shot back.

“Clary was interesting, new, and in distress.” Izzy put in. “Different circumstances. I say if you guys managed to spend the night together there's something else going on.”

“What happened when you guys woke up?” Clary asked.

Not ready to divulge that information for any amount of bribe or money, Simon pretended Bat was calling him from the other room and quickly hung up the phone. 

Part of his sheets still smelled like Jace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you want to see next?

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue this sometime??


End file.
